It took me 38 years to know and feel that I truly LOVED myself.
I am not talking about my “looks”; I am talking about me, myself and I. It took
me into my late 30’s to realize the type of person I WANTED to be not just the
person I wanted to portray.
Before I could love myself I had to FREE myself. Free my
mind of nonsense, drama, negativity and hate. Fill myself with positivity,
love, acceptance, forgiveness and kindness. I make a conscious effort to be a good person
and live a happy life.
I am not a skinny model. I am significantly overweight. I have a stomach covered of old faded pregnancy
stretch marks and not one but two cesarean scars. I have a FAT arm, yes not 2 just one, lucky me. I have feet that have to be faithfully
pedicured or I could use them as a weapon. I have several although new strands
of grey hair. I have boobs that can’t fit into cute lil bras because I need 4
hooks to hold these girls in place. I have boobs that without a bra they sag after using them to feed my baby boy for the first 6 months of his life and
then I religiously pumped the heck out of them for 2 more.
I have made mistakes
big and small. I get mad sometimes. I am always late. There are times when I just
want to be left alone. I am not always outgoing. I tend to speed mostly because
I’m always late. I am not as organized
as I once was. My house hasn’t been as clean as I have always kept it since my
2nd boy was born almost 5 years ago. I can be harsh with the truth.
Despite everything I am not, yes I still love myself.
I love myself because I truly would like to meet ME. I am
FUN. I am funny. I am a nice person. I try to be kind to everyone. I say
please, thank you, hold doors and smile at strangers. I look beyond what meets
my eye and try to be respectful of what others think or need. I am a great
mother and that’s the most important thing in my life. I work hard to try and
find balance between raising boys and being a full time working Mom. I really
do LOVE my Husband. It’s not a fake, “we’ve been together 20 years so let’s
just keep this thing going”, No; I truly care about our marriage and never want
it to end. I want to be a good wife. I am a GREAT daughter, sister, Aunt and friend. I love with my whole heart. I never say
things I don’t mean. I am a giver. I let
things go that aren’t important to stress over. I am honest. I am sincere. Although, I may not be a skinny model, I am
pretty. I have great naturally curly hair. I have nice big brown eyes. I have
good teeth and a great smile. I am healthy. I have a big loud laugh. I carry
all my extra poundage as well as I can and ALWAYS dress it appropriately. I
LOVE myself without being conceited, vain or making others feel bad. I am not a jealous person and I LOVE that about myself. I love myself for Me; I love
myself because I should. I love myself because it’s makes everything else in my
life right. I love myself because I know my true self.
I am just your
average woman living the life I want and making healthy strides to better myself. I am just like you and sometimes find myself
looking for “more” but seriously when I lay my head down at night I am at
peace. I am happy. I am just me. I know who I am. I am proud of who I am. The acceptance
of others or the world is not needed and definitely does not validate who I am.
My wish is that ALL women can find this peace and pass it on.
Strong Woman building each other up is what this world needs more of.
