Saturday, January 25, 2014

How My Son Stole My Dad's Birthday

It was January 25, 1999. I reported to the Woman’s Hospital at 730am as instructed to be induced.  I was HUGE. My stomach, my face, my, feet, my fingers, my everything huge…I was full of water, blood pressure was creeping and I was told this baby was BIG. I needed to be induced because my doctor was afraid I was not going to be able to get him out if she just let me just wait it out another week or 2. It was exciting, scary and it was  January 25th my Dad’s Birthday. I was 23 years old and this was my first baby. The hospital started things right away, I thought for sure I’d have a baby by the end of the day. I was on the fence if I wanted that or wanted them to share a birthday. It would be really cool but I also thought I wanted my boy to have his OWN day.

Well, to my surprise he did get his own day. He was born 2 days later, 2 long, sleep deprived and painful days. On January 27, 1999 at 8:36pm. I was in active labor for 36 hours and then had a c-section because no matter what I did he was not budging. (later I found out the cord was wrapped around his neck twice)  He was 8lbs 8oz and 20inches long. He had huge feet, long fingers and was all legs.

The records might say they don’t share a birthday but THEY do. My Dad’s running joke was that “Trevor stole his birthday” He always said that. Their birthdays are 2 days apart but many times we had cake for both of them at the same time or gave my Dad his own cake at the “kids” birthday party. I think my Dad enjoyed it or he wouldn’t have gone to all those kids birthday parties that were on HIS actual birthday because that was the good “Saturday” to have it on.
He wouldn’t have worn the BRIGHT yellow SpongeBob t-shirt to match Trevor on HIS 44th birthday and he wouldn’t have hired a clown and sat through the show on HIS 45th birthday, and he wouldn’t have gone bowling more times than he ever really wanted to on HIS birthday. He was a man of little words unless he was picking on you or teasing you, that was just his way. So if this boy hadn’t “stole” his birthday he would of spent his birthday at home, having a beer and eating a Carvel Ice-cream cake but instead he spent his last 12 birthdays celebrating with an amazing boy, his Grandson, who will always be known for stealing his Pop’s birthday!

This will be Trevor’s 3rd Birthday celebrating without my Dad as his birthday sidekick giving him a hard time teasing him relentlessly. My Dad loved Trevor and was extremely proud of him, although as I said he was a man of few words when it came to things like that. After my Dad passed we met so many people at his service that we had never met before. They knew so much about this kid, from his name, to his grades and the sports he played. They all told Trevor how much my Dad talked about him and how proud he was of his Grandson. I’m so glad Trevor will always know and have that to carry in his heart.

Happy Birthday in Heaven Daddy. I love and miss you every day.  We will be thinking of you as we Celebrate Boneheads 15th Birthday!!

Tuesday, January 14, 2014

In The House of JMarts start of 2014

So, the New Year has started. I ask myself how I can I make this year even better than 2013? I accomplished so much in 2013. As most of you all know I started this blog page to heal through sharing, a little humor and of course writing. I can say it took me 9 months of last year working from the inside out to actually feel like my old self. I have changed. I have changed in ways that may not be visible to some or even noticeable at all to people who do not know me well. I feel it and I feel good. I am not going to live my life worrying about others, competing with others or pleasing others.
It's my life and it's my journey. I don't care how long it takes me to be where I need to be, I know I will get there.

In the past year, I have come to have such an understanding that life is what you make it. The happiness you have or don't have in your life is on you. You need to stand for what you believe in, have the confidence and strength to move on from the things that weigh you down. I have learned the hard way that life is a gift, time is never guaranteed. It's about now, the time is now. If you LOVE someone make sure they know how much. Forgive those you love and move on. Take pictures, Lord knows how many pictures I take of my children, family and friends all the time. I capture everything because you never know if you or they will be there the next time. It doesn't matter if your parents are in their 30's or if they are in their 80's tell them and more importantly show them how much you love them because everyday you don't is a day you can't get back and you never know when their or your last day will be. This rule applies to anyone that  you love. When someone you love dies you do not want to be filled with regrets, the what ifs or the if I only. When it's your time to leave you don't want to leave the ones you LOVE questioning your love. 

As I set my eyes upon 2014, I have a full appreciation of this life I was given but that does not mean I like you don't often wish for more, however you have to step back and really figure out what's important to you today in this moment in the life you are living right now. 

I have GOALS for 2014 and I think they are attainable.  I just read my 2nd blog entry from when I started this and it was my Resolution List... Let's see how I did-

"New Year's 2012 My Resolutions for 2013
This is it....the last day of the worst year of my life. I am determined to make peace and get my life back. I will not make HUGE resolutions because I like most everyone( even though they won't admit it) FAIL after about 2-3 weeks. 

I have decided to make a list of 5 Things that I can do:

  1. Let's not get any fatter! Every woman on January 1st says "I'm going to lose weight" most of us don't and then the following New Year's Eve we are 10 lbs heavier. So next year I will either be the same or have lost but will not be any fatter!!! Hey, sounds good. 
  2. Make time for me to get back to exercise. Yes, Hubby and I are joining a Gym. Hmmm the ultimate New Year's resolution and so cliche.......but whatever
  3. Delegate more- I have a Husband, teenager and a toddler. They can all do something around here....yes, even the 3 year old. I will do the same at the office. I do not need to do everything everywhere!! I will have a hard time with this because I like things a certain way but I will have to let go which brings me to #4
  4. Letting go....Let go of things I can't change and focus on what I can.
  5. Be on time. Yes, if "running" late was exercise I would not even need my #1. I am always LATE! "                  

So, I got 4 out of 5. If you know me, yup you guessed it, the BIG OLE FAIL on #5!!! But hell, I didn't get any fatter, I actually lost 20lbs. We did join a gym which was cliche and so is my excuse as to why I stopped going but WTF, with the kids and my work schedule it's near impossible to get there. However, it's not a fail because I kept moving, walking. It counts as something and still better than nothing. Delegate, yup that's a big check check. Letting go, well that's why I feel so good. 
This year my main goal is to find my body again. I worked this body from the inside out, head to toe and now I need to FINISH this job!!!!