Thursday, June 13, 2013

Being a Mom

Another baby shower, another link to a registry that is a joke, I mean the useless crap First Time Mothers register for, asking people to WASTE their money on shit they think they need but will NEVER use! No First Time Mother should be handed a scanner without an experienced Mother beside her to show her and tell her like it is.  The most important things they need aren’t found with a scanner anyway…….

First of all the first time mother who her and her baby looks and acts like everything is perfect….well she isn’t. If she tells you how much she enjoys everything about being a first time Mom…..well she’s a fucking liar. Stay away from her….need a new “Mommy” friend, steer towards the one in the Yoga pants, crazy hair and the crying baby………well because that’s the shit that’s REAL! 

I'm writing this so first time moms know and even the 2nd or 3rd time Mom needs to be reminded sometimes. 

I wish someone had told me that when we brought home our first son from the hospital that he was going to cry all night….and I mean ALL night!!! I wasn’t prepared. I didn’t know why? I was exhausted, I wanted to cry and if I knew then what I know now…well I would of right along with him. No one told me about being up all night, and the crying that wouldn't stop. Oh you think decorating a nursery and registering for your baby shower is prepared…… (hahahahaha) You're not! 

There is nothing like being a Mother. It’s the hardest thing I have ever done yet it’s the best thing I’ll ever be. My boys are my world, my life, and my loves. The love is pure, genuine and unconditional. I am their Mother and loving them makes me who I am. 

However, being their Mother is hard, there are no days OFF, even if they are not with you they consume your brain, they never leave your thoughts.

I have been a Mother for 14 years. I have learned a lot. I have learned its ok to cry or have a “freak out” moment. Yes, I’m a Mom but Mom’s are human so even if I “freak out” its ok, I’m still a good Mom.

Every baby wakes up at night, every baby cries, every toddler throws a tantrum and teenagers can be little assholes but you know what every child needs a Mom who can be there through the best and the worst times.
We usually always only hear about the best times but good lord get real here, the  WORST times ….that’s what you need to be prepared for….
When they get their first fever and you can't get it down, when they start teething, when they poop all over, when you wake up in the middle of the night to them throwing up, worrying so much about your teenager that you think you might die. They will throw a tantrum in public, pee their pants, they'll say something and you have no idea where they even heard such inappropriateness? When he's running towards you, trips and hits his entire face on the coffee table you grab him, and realize that blood is dripping down his face. They will throw up on you, and not eat their dinner. Having to take them to the hospital in the middle of the night. They will eat too much candy and not want to brush their teeth. They will throw a fit on the floor at the grocery store, cry and whine until you think your ears might bleed. You’re exhausted and you are poor. They will ruin things and break things. They won’t listen. They ask too many questions and talk waaaaay too much. They will get mad at you for things that are beyond your control……and so much more. I think dealing with these things will only make you a STRONGER mother.

There is also so much GOOD that comes from being a mother…..When their eyes light up and they run to you screaming “Mommy” when you pick them up at the end of the day, when they kiss your face, and give you a million hugs, when they want you to read to them, lay with them to snuggle, when they tell you they love you. At night when you sneak into their room for that one last check, when you sit and watch them play, when they master the big boy potty, when they sleep through the night, when you are up for a middle of the night feeding, house is sooo quiet and their big eyes look so deep into your soul. When they roll over, start crawling, take their first step, and say their first word. When they smile at you, like you are their whole world. When they ride a bike. When you watch them play a sport for the first time. When they see their first Christmas tree, find their first Easter egg and celebrate their 1st birthday. They say "I'm going to marry you Momma." A teenager that still gives his Mom a hug before bed each night. They have taught me so many things, its okay to get dirty, and play with your food sometimes, it's okay to play basketball in the house. Don't always worry about laundry and cleaning the house, it will still all be there later or tomorrow. It's okay to drop everything to do a puzzle, snuggle or drive cars around the house. I have learned that raising them is so unpredictable; you never know what's going to happen. You don't know what tomorrow will bring. So it's okay to cry when you think you can't do it anymore. It's not your fault if your life seems harder than others. It's okay to take a break. It's just okay. 

Being a mom is one of the most challenging, wonderful, stressful, crazy, most amazing thing I've ever done or will ever be.  Even though, I'm 10 years older this time around it‘s still hard and it’s that much harder for every child you add to your family. Sometimes you think the hard times will never end and the good times are too short, but just go with it. It may not be easy, but it’s so worth it.

NO matter what I always just try to be the best mother I can be. When they are older, have children of their own and realize how hard it is……that’s when they will look back and I hope they can say wow, I did have a pretty awesome Mom growing up.