It’s the day you left us. It’s the day you left ME. It’s the day that left me without a father.
It’s the day so many of us lost you but this; this is about me. You left ME. You left me fatherless, motherless, left my kids and they were still so young. They miss you. I miss you. You left me just like that and that’s not how it was suppose to go. I’m still mad.
I have spent 1,461 days without you; each day different and each day bringing me to this day; today. It’s the day 4 years later that brings me down, brings me back to that awful day and floods me full of memories about what you meant to me.
You were so simple. You were fun and goofy. You made fun of me yet would do anything to help or protect me. You were sometimes such a controlling jerk yet you still tickled my knees if I was riding in the car with you even as an adult with two kids of my own. A man of few words yet a man who I always knew loved me so so much. I always thought you would be there for me until you weren’t.
A lot of things are different now but so much is still the same. You would be so proud of me, of the kids and how we go on. I can think of you and smile most days instead of drowning silently or alone in my tears. I see you in so many things like the lake, clouds, sunsets and stars. I feel you with us, looking over us even though I can’t physically see you. I believe in the signs and how you visit us in our dreams.
I am a different person and although I wish everyday you were still here the person I turned into because you aren’t is my saving grace.