You know Marriage is not really like a FAIRYTALE. I know deep down back on your wedding day, in your subconscious you had romantic visions of a Princess finding her Prince Charming and living HAPPILY ever after….you expected it to go just like that, Right?
BUT, and of course there is ALWAYS a BUT because let's face it; marriage is not for wimps. You want to believe your love for each other will pull you through but sometimes it just can’t and if it does it isn’t always pretty.
That may sound ugly but it’s reality. I have been with my Husband for 19 years and we will be celebrating our 12th wedding anniversary this fall. We have been through so much and in my opinion it's the least romantic parts of marriage that have taught me the most about myself, my Husband and our love.
The harsh reality is no matter how great your spouse is they are NOT going to make you happy every moment of every day. There have been plenty of times I have wondered why I ever got married in the first place; this isn’t what I signed up for? But actually it is, it was for better and for worse.
You’ve been together for years, now there’s a house, children, careers, bills, school functions, sports, the tedious daily routines, errands, chores that never end and more bills. He LOVES to sit around too much and he spends waaaaay too much time in the bathroom. He snores. You finally got him to put the top on the toothpaste but he can’t seem to get his underwear out of the hall and into a hamper. He is to hard on the teenager and doesn’t have the right amount of patience for the 4 year old. He can’t fix a thing and can barely boil water. You’ve gone from ALWAYS being in the mood to being TO tired to even get in a mood. You struggle, your frustrated, you need a break, Is this what the rest of my life is going to be like, you want to scream, sometimes you even want to leave, but you don’t.
You don’t leave. You stay. You stay because you LOVE him and the crazy life you created, well and because you never want to have to “share” the kids. You stay because you made that commitment and well you really do LOVE HIM! Marriage is hard. Life is hard. Raising a family hard. There have been times when just staying together has been hard. You find the surprising hard truths you face after the grand ole wedding day teach you the real meaning of love/marriage.
It means you’ve been together for years, now there’s a house, children, careers, bills, school functions, sports, the tedious daily routines, errands, chores that never end and more bills. He still loves YOU! You are his one and only, his best friend. He may sit around too much but he works hard to always provide for the family. He can’t cook but he does dishes, laundry and scrubs bathtubs. He maybe to hard or not have enough patience with the kids but he loves them with all his heart and he is a hands on Dad. He will snuggle, read, play video games, soccer and talk sports all day with them. There may have been times that you are to tired to be in a “mood” but there is not a day that goes by that he doesn’t touch you, hug you or tell you that he loves you. He has forgiven you for big things and little things. He has made sacrifices so you didn’t have to. He is kind and he is sensitive. You two have experienced the greatest joys together and endured tragic loss. He stayed through the hard times and the frustrating life of a married man with 2 children that no one prepared him for either. He stayed because he LOVES YOU too!!
So, as you get older and as your children grow you still want to love him. You want to spend time with him. You want to have dates with him. You want to hold his hand and want him to keep telling you every day that he loves you. You don’t just want to go through life with him, you still want to experience it, love it, and live it with him. You want your children to always know and feel that you love each other and when they are gone you still want to be in love with him. You want to grow old with only him.
Marriage is a dream of every little girl but as you experience it you realize the “dream” was the wedding day because Marriage is hard work and nothing like that.
Marriage is an imperfect, unfairytale like, real-life love story, that's totally worth all the hardwork!