Elf Shenanigans In the House of JMarts 2013

and.......he's back!!

Don't try to be a SUPERMOM. Be a REAL MOM.

The getting yourself out of bed, dragging yourself to bathroom, getting your wobbling not yet awake legs to take you down the stairs, for hugs, sometimes tears, pouring cereal, lunch making, coffee brewing, let’s get out the door kind of morning going. Looking in the mirror one last time before you walk out the door and you don’t see it anymore, it’s gone; there just isn’t any sparkle in your eyes today. It’s just YOU, their Mom. But, it’s You, you are in there. It’s YOU giving of yourself all the time to someone else, minute, by minute, day by day to the lives you have created. It may not be glamorous but being their Mom is sometimes the only thing that makes sense.   

We tend to give our children more than we had or treat them “better” than we were treated, or take them places we always wanted to go as a child but didn’t. Society makes us think that being a good Mom means fancy vacations, fancy toys or clothes and the things that truly make a good Mom gets lost.  It’s the simple things that really matter.  It’s the daily non-glamorous tedious routines that remind us what being a MOM is all about.

It’s the small moments that can’t be explained or told on “Facebook". It’s about all the things you do as a Mom that no one else can see. It’s their smile, their giggle and they way they look at you.  It’s still feeling joy, even while going through some of your darkest days.  It’s the innocence and sweetness of a 4yo when he crawls into bed with you for snuggles and you’re still half asleep and you feel him rub your cheek and whisper “I Love you Mommy”. It’s stopping what you are doing to read your teenagers paper because he just finished it and he wants to share it with you.  It’s about snuggling with a blanket in pajamas and reading to your toddler. It’s putting your phone down and taking 20 minutes to play Candyland. It’s a hug from your teenager without having to ask. It’s being patient, letting things go and not sweating the small stuff.  It’s just about being there doing Mom things.  

You are their Mom that’s all they know and that’s all they need to know.   They don’t see you standing there in the mirror wondering where “she” went.  They don’t see you scrambling to get things done sometimes without much help. They don’t see you rushing from work to make sure everyone is picked up or where they need to be on time. They don’t see you checking your bank account wondering how you’re going to play “Santa”. They don’t see you looking at empty cupboards and wondering when you will have time to get to the grocery store or what you’re going to piece together for dinner. They don’t see what you go without so they have what they need. They don’t see you worrying when they go out with friends. They don’t see your sadness when you know they are struggling.  They don’t see the extra kisses you give them or that one last glance after they are fast asleep. 

 

Those are the things that really matter.

Don't try to be a SUPERMOM.  Be a REAL MOM. A Mom who sometimes feels lost and is not afraid to admit it. Be a BRAVE Mom. A Mom who even when she’s tired or scared keeps fighting. 

Just be their MOM!

The Controversy of “What’s your excuse?”

You must of known I would write about this. 

My question, What’s your excuse for acting like your better than everyone who has little ones  and doesn’t look like that. Some of us NEVER have and NEVER will. What’s my excuse? Hmmmmm, let me count the ways……

I get up at 6am, (my Hubs is already gone and off to work) make lunches, make breakfasts, shower, get ready and get a 4yo ready

I drive a half hour to drop him off to preschool

I drive another half hour to get to work

I work until 430-500

I drive a half hour to get back to preschool to get the 4yo

I drive a half hour home in pure traffic

Usually arrive home between 530-6pm

I pick up kitchen, I make dinner etc

We eat usually about 7pm

Then I have an hour to give the boy a bath, read and tuck him in

It’s 8pm, I would like to have a conversation and spend a little time with my 14yo

It’s 9-930pm, I’m tired, it’s time for bed.

Is this what you consider an excuse, my daily life?, it’s more like reality and this doesn’t include when the older boy has practice or a game or when other shit is going on.

First of all I agree with being healthy and fit. Secondly, She looks amazeballs. No doubt! But, (and there it is)  Is that caption necessary? Everyone’s life and circumstances are different. Get over yourself. Believe it or not you can be fit and healthy and still never look that like, and every woman in the world’s main focus is not to look like that.  It is not inspiring; it comes across as arrogant and narcissistic! The caption is not only judgmental it's based solely on her own specific situation, body type, time, equipment, and help with kids while she works out etc....

The picture would have been received as positive and compliments (that she deserves) would have been given if the caption was motivational. - 'You Can do it!’ It’s hard but worth it!  It would of motivated  woman but instead she assumed we are all clumped together in the same "life situation" making excuses and sitting around on our fat asses watching Soaps! 

One of my biggest pet peeves is people that think they are better than everyone.  Woman always bringing each other down and to me this is just another example. 

Maybe I am one of those “freak” Mom’s .....

Last night I was getting changed to head to our son’s 1^st High School Meet the Teacher Night, he’s a Freshman.  I said to my Husband, “Does this look ok?” (I was dressing down and comfy) He said “You’re fine, you will look better than anyone because YOU ARE THERE” I shrugged it off with a chuckle. 

Parents were told to meet in the Auditorium and the night would proceed from there.  We got there early to “get a seat” being that it was all grades 9-12 Meet the Teacher Night so I assumed it would be packed. As I sat there in the half empty room I started thinking, first He was right “I was here” and secondly, maybe I was naive to think it would be full, maybe I am  too involved, maybe I can’t let him go, maybe I am one of those “freak” Mom’s. 

The night goes on we Meet all of his teachers, put a face to the name, get a small sense of what they are like their personalities, get the scoop on how they run a classroom and a quick overview of what they expect from our boy. It took 2 hours out of our life to get a feel for what our boys day is like every day for the next 9 months, to know who he is talking about when he comes home and tells us something about his day, teacher or classroom whether he’s complaining about something or telling us something positive. 

We have always been involved in our son’s Academic life. I also know that we have had great experiences and an easy road with our son academically. He has made it that way. He is beyond smart, always been grade levels ahead, been in accelerated programs since elementary school and as a freshman taking all 10^th grade honors classes. The road may have been easier for us however, that’s not an excuse to drop the ball in your involvement of your child’s academic future. We have always been involved from the beginning from checking homework, reading, signing agendas and making sure everything was in order. He has always been a responsible, determined and hardworking student. We are still involved checking his assignments and grades online every week to just make sure he remains that type of student. 

I realize that every parent can’t attend “Meet the Teacher Night” we all have busy schedules. I realize there are acceptable reasons of why you can’t be there and I fully understand that, however I am sure not every parent that was missing was working, was ill, was out of town or was doing something that was more important.

So that leaves me to wonder, Who wouldn’t want to meet the people your child interacts with on daily basis? Who doesn’t want to know what their child’s day is like…because we all know as they get older the details get a little sketchy!

This kind of irritated me as I thought about it more….. Why are football and basketball bleachers full on game day and that auditorium last night was half empty.  How do parents not miss one sporting event even arrange their schedules to make sure the kids get to practice yet have no interest in meeting a teacher? Our son is also athletic and is an avid basketball player; we are very involved in that as well. We FULLY encourage, love and support him and the sport wholeheartedly however he has been told repeatedly that if his grades slip in the least, he will be done. His first responsibility is to academics and our first responsibility to him as his parents are to his academic future. 

I realize not every child is “into” school, or is a straight "A" student however every child has the potential to be a GOOD student and it’s your responsibility as their parent to be involved and help them reach their own individual best!!!  Academics are the key to their futures.

So, maybe I was naive to think it would be full, maybe I am  too involved, maybe I can’t let him go, maybe I am one of those “freak” Mom’s but I will also be the Mom without any regrets. I will always know I did all I could to help, encourage and support him to be the best he could be.