Love is not cliche

Valentine's Day. It's a day for LOVE. Love. Just Love. There is always a reason to LOVE and there is always room for more LOVE.

Many call it a Hallmark holiday. Many list all the cliche reasons they hate it from being single, over priced flowers, cards or dinners. Many ask "Why do you need a special day to tell the people you love that you love them?"

I think the answer is easy and I may have many reasons as to why I LOVE Valentine's Day but with that said I also wholeheartedly  agree that I don't need a "special day" to tell my boys how much I love them because I tell them and show them non-stop everyday (and I'm serious) however, I find nothing wrong with giving a little extra love, making a special dinner, or giving someone you love a little extra surprise on February 14th. If you have people in your life to LOVE and have people in your life who love you then that's what it's all about.

I learned to LOVE Valentine's Day as a young child. My Grandfather would surprise me for as long as I could remember with HUGE heart boxes full of chocolate just because he loved me. My Mom surprised me one year with a bedroom make over when I got home from school...a new pink comforter and curtains, just because she loved me. My family taught me what love was and they taught me that Valentine's Day was about LOVE and it was as simple as that.

Now I do the same for my boys just because I LOVE them. I LOVE making them treats and giving them little Valentine's just because I LOVE them and it's fun for me. I want them to know it's a day about LOVING people and when they are older I do not want them to hate the holiday like so many do because they don't have a girlfriend at the time and I don't want them to tell their wife "It's a dumb holiday or a waste of money" but maybe take this day and just give her that extra kiss, if they have a daughter maybe give her flowers too, send their Grandmother a card and remind her how much she is loved or remember to call me just to tell me they LOVE me even if they just talked to me yesterday.

It's about the LOVE. The love you give and the love you receive and there is nothing cliche about that.

Things I Hope you know on your 16th Birthday

 Today's the day

Today's the day, the day you met your mother for the first time. Today's the day they placed you in my arms and it's the day I learned what true unconditional, unwavering love really was. It's a love like no other. It's a love that surpasses any other feeling in the world. I was a Mom, I was your Mom and I'd never be the same. Today as you walked out the front door for school 16 years later something seemed a little different but yet just the same. I said "Happy Birthday " to you 3 times already today. As usual, you shrugged it off as if it's "no big deal", or it's just another day as you do with everything that's about you. I watched you (like a freakish stalker) walk down the street and just couldn't believe you are 16 years old today. I felt happy and sad. I won't tell you I might have gotten your baby album again but what I will tell you is how you fill my heart with such joy, hope and love.

I hope you will always know and feel how much I love you, today and forever.

I hope you know there is nothing that can make me stop loving you.

I hope you know you will always need me even when you think you don't.

I hope you know you make me so proud.

I hope you know how much I love those big brown eyes.

I hope you know that everything I do is out of love.

I hope you know that one day all the things you make fun of me for you will want your wife to do for your children.

I hope you know all the things you tease me about such as; my quirky in your face ways if they stopped you'd long for them.

I hope you know I will always be your biggest fan.

I hope you know I truly love your father.

I hope you cherish all our family memories and they make you smile.

I hope you know I will always be your home no matter where your life takes you.

I hope you know I couldn't live without you.

I hope you know you are handsome.

I hope you know how smart you are.

I hope you know that I will  always believe in you even if no one else does.

I hope you know you can always trust me.

I hope you know I cry sometimes just because I love you so much.

I hope you know there's more to being a man than being tough and it's OK to cry.

I hope you know my hugs and kisses will never run out and my arms will always be open.

I hope you know I will help you understand girls.

I hope you know I always talk about you.

I hope you know always to smile.

I hope you know I'll never hold you back even if my heart is breaking because of it.

I hope you know I will always know where all the things are in the house.

I hope you know I will always remind you to be kind, honest, thankful and lovable.

I hope you know I will always tell you that family is more important than anything.

I hope you know I will always expect you to be yourself.

I hope you know I will never stop telling you I love you.

I hope you know I love your brother just as much as I love you.

I hope you know anything is possible, anything.

I hope you know I worry about you.

I hope you know enough to always forgive.

I hope you pay attention to the small things and don't take life for granted.

I hope you always choose the safe choice.

I hope you have an easy, non-stressful, full-filling, successful  life that's meaningful and true.

I hope you always give more than you take.

I hope you appreciate and not expect.

I hope you never lose that hunger for achievement and doing your best.

I hope you know when you  hurt I hurt.

I hope you know I never want you to leave me but I will be Okay when you do.

I hope you know I will always be here for you, I will never leave you, I will always be that go to person and I hope you always let me.

I hope you know one day as I age I might not be able to remember all the reasons why I love you but I still will love you and I hope you never forget the reasons why.

Happy Birthday my boy, my sunshine, my goodness, my untouched soul, my love, my oldest son.

Bunker Punk Tour

Bunker Punk Tour 

What is your most prized possession?

I would say  all of my pictures. I love pictures. I love taking pictures. I love looking back at pictures and remembering certain details that I have forgotten. The joy of pulling out my oldest sons photo albums, reminiscing of  almost 16 years gone by then trying to remember his face being that small and trying to recollect what his voice sounded like. The love that ensues when I glance through our huge wedding album and then the sadness that slowly comes as there are so many loved ones that have left us since then. Pictures are a treasure, the old fashion photo albums have been replaced by digital CD’s and memory drives that we can’t hold in our hands or find quickly to get lost in. I miss that.

  How do you unwind after a long day?
Besides taking the bra off??? If I can stay awake to "unwind" because most times unwinding means just sitting down and falling right asleep. When I have time after the lil man goes to bed I like to have a glass of wine, cuddle up with my blanket and catch up on our DVR with my Hubs and oldest son. We laugh and watch our sitcoms like Goldberg’s or Modern Family. If I am tired (which is many weeknights) I just go fulfill my Criminal Minds obsession, watch ION TV in bed, comfy, scroll around on my phone and catch up with my JMarts peeps.

What is one song that has followed you throughout your whole life?
I don’t think there is just one song. Music is a huge part of my life. I could not live without music. Music is healing. It relaxes me, makes me happy and lets me cry when I need it. It makes me remember certain times of my life with simple lyrics. I have songs for pretty much every person in my life. I grew up on music, from my Grandfather playing the guitar and singing to us as kids or my parents introducing and always playing music of all genres; country, rock and many classics that I still like today.

If you could give one piece of advice to new bloggers in your field, what would it be?
My advice would be... just go with it. When I write it’s always from the heart. I started my blog after an incredibly hard year after losing my Dad. It was my saving grace and helped me heal so much over the course of the next year. I love to write about things that get to me emotionally whether, it is sadness, frustration, happy, love, my opinion or just a strong view on something controversial.
If you feel it, let it flow and forget what about everyone is doing.

Now that you're famous, we need a quote from you.
You are only allotted so much time on this earth so don’t waste it pretending. Always be YOU. -JMarts

The Story of the Little Girl Who Lived Next Door

We all have friends. If you are lucky you even have a small circle of best friends. If you are really lucky you have that one best friend that goes back longer than you care to think about well because then you start feeling old. 

My best friend has been my best friend since I was about 8 years old and that’s just about 31 years. Her family moved next door to my family, in Upstate NY. Our parents became friends and so did we. We waited for the bus together; we played together every day outside on swing sets and riding bikes. We grew a little older playing outside turned into watching movies like Nightmare on Elm Street and Karate Kid; baking and making her little sister eat dog food.  We only lived next door to each other for a few short years until her family moved away to Maine. It was a sad day. I remember her family waiting for the bus with me that morning. I remember crying but I also remember never feeling like that was going to be the last time I was going to see her. 

We remained friends. We wrote each other letters, snail mail style. Our families made trips for visits. Our parents would meet half way so I could spend a week with them in the summer. Then we were teenagers. We had boyfriends, licenses and cars. The trips were more frequent going both ways. There were break ups, Proms, High School Graduations, siblings, many other friends in the mix (who I’ve loved almost just as long),times where we lost touch for months at a time being busy with school and our local friends, but we’d eventually always pick it right back up. We have had College visits; College Graduations, our own apartments, parties, careers, new boyfriends that turned into Husbands with babies, weddings, more babies and became Godmothers and Aunties to each other’s children. We have traveled endlessly to be there for each other for every milestone and now our children’s, for support, love and encouragement. 

It’s a Friendship that I treasure. Besides my family she’s the only person in my life that I have known this long. She’s always been a constant in my life. She knows things about me that my other friends don’t and will never know because no other friend knew what I was like as a little girl. She’s a friend I know I can call whenever for whatever no matter what. She has seen me at my worst and at my very best. She is supportive, positive, loving and so caring. 

She is the best Auntie my kids could ever have. My oldest son will be 16 and he was the only child forever in everyone’s life. She never missed a birthday, a milestone, a card for silly holidays, gifts and Congratulations cards for pretty much every achievement.  She’s made endless trips to attend his birthday parties and stayed later than expected on a Sunday to see him in his first Halloween costume or catch a travel basketball game. She’s continued and done the same for my youngest son. 

I love her and her family, her parents, her sister and her family, her friends and their families. She brings so much to my life and her friendship makes me a better person.  

So, today on her birthday I want to say Thank you to her. Thank you for being you. Thank you for being the person that never required me to sacrifice my happiness, other important relationships or my dreams to be your friend. Thank you for your presence in my children’s lives. Thank you for supporting and encouraging me without ever judging. Thank you for being a loyal friend even though we spend so much time apart. Thank you for loving me just as I am. 

Happy Happy Birthday Melissa Ann!!

2014 Elf Shenanigans

Don’t Put an Age Limit on Halloween

I remember being in 6^th grade.  How old are you in 6^th grade maybe 11 years old? It was Halloween. My Mom took my sister (who is 4years younger than me) and I out Trick or Treating.  My sister and I would always walk up to the doors together. I was a Princess wearing an old purple prom dress, crown with my glittery star wand sparkling under all the porch lights. I realize it was a different time back then and I know most 6th grade girls today would never even think about being a princess. My sister and I we were having fun until we reached the top of the steps at this one house. This man opens the door, scowls at me and says “Aren’t you a little big for this?” I believe he meant big as in too old  because even though I was only 11, I was just about as tall as I am now 5’6. I physically looked about 15 or 16 years old but I was only a young 11 year old girl. That was the last time I went Trick or Treating. 

My oldest son is in a similar situation. Luckily for him, when he sprouted up, he had a little brother that’s 10 years younger than him to use as a decoy from snide remarks that may have ended his Halloween fun even earlier than mine. 

He is now 15, he looks 18. He’s just about 6’5 and 180lbs. He likes Halloween, he has always liked to dress up and although his costumes and his friend’s costumes aren’t as elaborate or cute they are still kids. My son will be going out Trick or Treating with some friends around our family oriented neighborhood.  We let him walk around without us. Last night when we were at the costume store having fun and picking out our costumes, I thought to myself how these years for and with him are coming to an end. It makes me sad. The thought also crossed my mind of what people might think of a 6’5 kid ringing their doorbell regardless of how old he actually is.

This Halloween when you open your door and you are disappointed not to see a Baby Bumble Bee, a little Fire Fighter, or a sweet Lady bug standing there but instead it’s a group of pre-teens or teenagers who in your opinion may be to old but are still just having a little fun with their friends just smile. Don’t be mean. Don’t frown on them. Don't put them down.

Don’t put an age limit on Halloween. Let them have fun even if the boys voices sound like a man or the girls are giggling too much and even though they are taking up all the space on your porch with their pillowcases full of candy that they will never have enough time nor be allowed to consume all of. I told them the  rules before they set out and I expect them to always be polite and respectful. So, regardless of how old you think they look open your door with a smile and let them act like the kids they actually are for just this one night. They need to find that kid every now and then in a world that makes them grow up much too fast.

 

Gram UpNorth

💙

My Grandfather taught us so many things. He amazed us but you know what they say “behind every great man there’s a great woman”.  

 My earliest memory of her is her holding me while I laid on her (as I called them) big “pillows” and she always sang “Hush Little Baby, Papa’s going to buy you a mockingbird”, I loved it, until he came home from work then it was “Papa” time. He was my main man and I was his little first born granddaughter. My grandfather was such an influence and special person in my life but so was this little lady that was always flying under the radar. He may have taken us fishing every weekend, but who packed our lunches and made sure we had our sweet treats in there and who cooked the fish for dinner when we got home. He may have taught me everything about Archery and entered me in weekend tournaments but she was the one on the line next to me as I grew up and had to switch from the Cub/Youth line over to the Woman’s line.  He may have played the guitar and sang songs to us so we could dance around but many of those songs he sang because they were her favorite songs. We may have fought over “who gets to sit next to Papa” at the dinner table but she was the one who set that table.  We may have gone through the woods and picked berries with him until our fingers were sore from all the prickers but when we were done who washed the berries and baked us that pie for dessert. She was just always there doing her thing, doing what Grandma’s do I guess. 

As, I grew older there were so many other things she did for me. She took me on my first job interview as a teenager and I begged her to come in with because I was so scared. She didn’t of course; she talked me through it and waited in the car. She took me to my first GYN appointment which I was also scared about but didn’t beg her to come in with me (ha-ha). They took in my younger sister when my parents couldn’t deal with her antics anymore but my Grandma took the brunt of her “teenage” years and kept many secrets from Papa in that respect. I remember taking the long way home from the bus stop just so I could stop in after school and see her.  Then I grew up even more and I had a child, his middle name is my Grandfather’s last name which is what I have always said but you know what;  it’s her last name too!!  When my son was born he had so many Grandmas’ and at this point my grandparents had moved an hour away north of us, so we called her Gram UpNorth. We still do, all of us, it stuck. 

So there was this incredible man, however there was also an amazing woman. She was always there, his wife, his side kick, a housewife, a mother and my Grandma.  She was just always there. She never fought for the spotlight she just let us be Papa’s girls because that’s just how it always was.  

My Grandfather died 11 years ago of lung cancer at 68 years old. My Grandmother is still going strong and going to be 81years old next month. When he died so did everything she had ever known. She was strong and looking back, I now realize how much sadness she must have felt, alone, up north in that house. She still lives in that house; the house that my Grandfather re-did on his own with his 2 hands….everything in there screams their name.  She got a job (she had barely worked a day in her life) and she worked there up until last summer. She traveled around with her best friend. She at first continued to go to Archery Shoots, if we could bring her or tag along with Archery friends. She keeps the Archery Range that he built open and useable to this day. She joined a church and made many new friends. She is an inspiration and a very, strong independent woman. I maybe didn’t realize this all along but as I age and I see her or look back at the things she has done, she is just amazing. She is a young almost 81 years old, she tries hard to keep up with things, to keep up with us, she watches NASCAR, she’s on Facebook, she drives, she has a cell phone and she dresses pretty darn cute too. 

 

She is and always will be my Grammie and I hope she knows how very much I love her, always have and always will even if we were “Papa’s Girls”