Things about toddlers that everyone knows about but won’t speak about

Things about toddlers that everyone knows about but won’t speak about.

They are cute, lovable and funny. That’s all we ever hear about.

They are also, dirty, ask to many questions, don’t listen, pee their pants, spill their milk, no longer want to nap, scream, wreck things, change their minds too much, have no patience, ask you to smell their feet, they whine, oh how mine whines, they can’t sit still, they are rough, they touch everything, they are loud, and they yes I will say it again are dirty and full of germs.

If you are the parent of a Toddler you know, it’s challenging but fear saying that out loud. One minute they are making you laugh then in an instant that changes and you have all you can do to keep from pulling your hair out. One minute you’re not allowed to touch them the next they basically want to crawl back in because they need to be THAT close to you. You count down and pray bedtime will just get here already, and then later you give them one last peek before you finally head to dreamland and you can’t believe how cute they are, then the guilt floods in and you can’t wait for them to wake back up so you can snuggle them up.

The thing about Toddlers is they are growing, learning and experiencing many things everyday for the very first time, which when you stop and think about that is pretty amazing. However, that doesn’t make the “bad” toddler days any easier and this is what WILL happen to you

1.       You will be exhausted. I pretty much haven’t slept since 2009. Yeah and that’s not a joke. You are so tired sometimes, but it doesn’t matter, there’s nothing you can do about it. The minute they wake you up they are sucking all your energy out like little vampires.

2.       You will laugh a lot. They are so funny. The things they say, ask and do is hysterical. They are comical and so innocent. They are little people with their own personalities pouring out. They dance, laugh, accidentally swear, imitate things, dress up, want to be big helpers, have imaginary friends and love to sing. They can make you laugh and smile even if it’s not an appropriate time. So as you age and you develop laugh lines, you can remember all the times they made you laugh…..they don’t call them laugh lines for nothing!!

3.       Poor. Yes, you will be poor. Just because you are done with diapers and formula don’t think it’s easier. It’s about this time that the stash of toys are all too babyish, the new clothes you had stashed away have all been worn, they need good walking shoes yet their feet are so fat you have to take them to Stride Rite and spend $60 every other month on extra extra Wide shoes for those fatty yet small feet.  They are just big enough for you to start taking them places, like Bounce Houses, Movies, Shows, Book stores, Dunkin Donuts, Aquariums, Apple Picking, and Zoos and for their first Happy Meal.  You can’t wait to do it…finally they are big enough for these fun days out, but then you realize, OH Shit….there’s the money we’re saving from no more diapers and formula. Then there’s daycare and preschool, we basically have 2 mortgages right now. With the money we spend on childcare and school we could honestly have another house, I pretend sometimes when I write the check that I am paying for a summer home, makes it a little more bearable.

4.       Mad. You will get mad, sooo mad. There are days when you will raise your voice. There will be times when you will put them in their room and tell them not to come out until they can get themselves together. There will be times in the car when you will blast the radio for 5 minutes to drown out their  temper tantrum. There will be times when you wish you could just run away, far far away. You will be mad, they make you mad. The crap about keeping your cool every second and just sitting them down and telling them how their behavior is making you feel… Who wrote that shit , June fucking Cleaver. It’s not Beaver, it’s a toddler who has tested you all day. They need a time out, so do you for that matter and that’s why there is wine! Yes, Drink WINE!

5.       Guilt. All Moms’ feel guilt. You feel guilty for getting mad. You feel guilty because all they want to do is color with you, but you have to get ready for work, and then you feel guilty for working. You feel guilty for scolding them. You feel guilty that they wanted to play in the tub but all you had time for was giving them a quick shower. You feel guilty for leaving them when they are screaming and asking you not to leave. You feel guilty because you need 20 minutes to get something done so you turn on the TV.  You feel guilty for giving in just because you can’t deal with the argument right now.  Mothers have nothing to feel guilty about, hell we gave them life and now they are sucking the life out of us. We do our best. We are only human. We are not failures and we are not alone. We are great Moms.

6.       Love. Love. Love. When you become a Mother, you realize there is no other love that compares. It’s amazing, this little life you created is so beautiful inside and out. Were you ever really happy, because this, being a mother is your happiness.  There is no better love …you just love their little face and there is no one they love more than their MOMMY!  Having them in your life you feel complete and whole. You can’t remember what your life was like before nor can you imagine what you life would be like now if they weren’t in it. You would do anything for them and everything you do is for them. You are a mother and in the grand scheme of things there is no better love than that of a mother and child.

I am sure you won’t find this in “What to Expect, the Toddler Years”, but hell it’s still a good book. What I speak about it real. This shit happens. Having a Toddler is something else and sometimes makes you want your Husband to go get a vasectomy but when they go off to Kindergarten you will look back and say remember when he was toddler, and Oh you will remember, because it’s unforgettable!!!!!!