Administrative Professionals Day ;)

Today is Administrative Professionals Day.  What does that exactly mean? Well, to me any good business owner should know they would not be where they are without the help of their staff. It’s a team effort to get the job done and keep things running on a daily basis. With that said, who is the first person you encounter and/or the person you primarily deal with at any business the Receptionist/Secretary/Admin. 

Admins are the back bone to any business. I Manage a Physician’s office and I have been in the Medical Field for 20 years. I have been in my current Management position since 2002, and I have ALWAYS made sure my assistants know their hard work is noticed and appreciated not only today but often.  When I was put in the position to have an assistant instead of being one, I knew from experience how not to treat someone if you wanted them to commit to the position and produce quality work. I know how I wanted to be treated and recognized along the way but that didn’t always happen. I think too often many employers that employee staff underneath them especially clerical or Admins look down upon or act as if they are just “replaceable” even though they couldn’t run the business without their help. I think more often that not most business owners have no idea how to treat their employees; they are always complaining , nit picking and worrying about money, it’s the Managers or Supervisors that make or try to keep a positive environment and happy workplace.

Since employees are all different there is not any one tried and true, guaranteed way to make everyone feel appreciated, but you can be certain doing anything is better than doing nothing.

So what are you doing for your Admin today? 

Confidence....

As I pinned my hair back in the mirror a little bit ago, I saw about what is now up to 10 gray hairs. This feeling came over me like; it was the worst thing possible. So vain and petty, yes I know!  Snap out of it, I keep telling myself as I walk back to me desk.  I then googled gray hair, why I have no fucking idea, for a cure I guess! 

Then I literally started thinking about all the other crap I worry about on a daily basis, well I shouldn’t say “WORRY” more like think about. The extra pounds I carry around, the wide feet I have that prevents me from wearing shoes that are actually trendy, the big tits that dent  in my shoulders most days, the uni brow I have to constantly keep up, and now a few gray hairs. 

Then I am like, WTF is wrong with you! You do not get wrapped up in this type of nonsense. You are confident you always have been. You are sexy because you are wearing your sexy underwear today, remember JMArts? So I listen to that voice in my head and if I chose that pair of underwear out of my drawer this morning over all the granny comfy Mom panties that are in there then, I must have felt good this morning, so no gray hair is going to ruin your today!

I am confident but not cocky. I am confident in ME, but that doesn’t mean I don’t have a few insecurities! My confidence has and always will come from within because I know who I am. Who I am is not defined by numbers on a scale, my uni brow, how many gray hairs I have, or what shoes I can fit my wide baby feet in. I am lucky to know who I am. I will and do not ever compare myself to others. I honestly never wanted to be anyone but me, and I honestly have never ever cared what other people thought of me. I am me and I will never pretend to be something I am not! I wish more women could find this same confidence and rid themselves of the nonsense that consumes them. It all starts from within, once you find that confidence and light that fire!!

 I have been all sizes and now all I want to be is healthy, not a size.  I am 37 years old, I do not need to look like the person I was years ago because I am NOT that person. I just want to drop some pounds, feel a little better and be healthier.  Am I saying I am fine with being overweight? No, I’m not or I wouldn’t forever be on the struggle to rid myself from it. However, I am fine with being JMarts, a wife, a FABULOUS mother, a devoted daughter, a trusting/loyal friend, hilarious, crazy wine drinking some of a gun!

Making it....

I have so much to say about this and I don’t even know how to begin. I have so many thoughts on it and I don’t want to sound like I am judgmental or stereo typing because I do not have a prejudice bone in my body.  So I will just say it, JMarts style, might be a little flowy, involve some swearing and you might not like it. But hell my girlfriend just reminded me it was MY blog. She is right, these are my thoughts and I don’t ever ask or expect that we all agree just respect that we all have our own opinions. This is mine. 

So it began, another weekend of AAU basketball.  Our son is playing, he is 14 years old and in 8^thgrade. All of the teams we play are also 14 and in 8^th grade.  If you are not familiar, AAU stands for Amateur Athletic Union.  It’s more competitive and I think AAU is important because it allows you to step out of your comfort zone. It allows you to play with and against some the best players at your age and grade level. What I witnessed last weekend at one of the games and then the conversation about it with 2 of my girlfriends after has still been on my mind. 

It’s a Sunday morning. We are ready for another day of basketball.  We are all standing there around the court waiting for the game before us to end so the boys can take the court and warm up. The other team is also arriving. By arriving, I mean arriving! They are all coming in with their scuffing feet and they aren't even talking to each other. They are acting like they don’t even know each other. Their team has way too many kids on it. The Coach arrives. He is a mix between P Diddy and Will.I.Am. He’s got swag, way too much of it. I think their arrival was enough to get in our kids heads, because secretly they sure were in mine. 

The game starts. Within the first few minutes, I realize this is not going to be good.  They are rough; they are mean they are already talking smack. We’ve been playing for 2 minutes and my son already has a foul and has been “warned” along with a boy from their team.  My son is not the type of player that gets “warned”! He is a good player and he is a CLEAN player!  We quickly realize why they have so many boys on the team, because they foul constantly and it doesn't matter because they never have to worry about foul trouble because all the kids are equally as good. The kids can shoot, they can dribble, they are good, but they are playing street ball not organized basketball. They are good  players but they act like little punks in a gang and What about sportsmanship?  The Coach kept his sunglasses on the entire game while screaming at them even though they played well and were eventually up by 30. The refs had to warn several of their kids to keep their hands off and just play basketball. One of the kids was being such a punk and giving the ref a hard time while staring him down. Really? Respect, any? The ref literally said “I just told you keep your hands to yourself, now quit looking at me” We lost the game. It was our first loss. 

I have no problem losing to a better team, kids that are more athletic, a team with more talent, a team that came to play BASKETBALL. What I have a problem with is their demeanor, their lack of sportsmanship and respect, their inability to make the switch from playing street ball to playing AAU Basketball that has rules set and that need to be followed.

I could go on about every nonsense detail of the game but I think you get the point. I am over the game. You win some, you lose some of course!  Whatever! What I am not over however is…those kids, those boys. Those boys that I told my girlfriends were punk assholes. They are 14!!! How can I say that? I tell myself I should feel bad for saying that?  They are kids, just like my boy.

 Then I start thinking …..…How do you turn into a punk asshole at 14? 

I remember some of the key points my girlfriends pointed out to me…..

“They are inner city kids, some of their parents probably don’t even know they play, it’s their ticket out of the ghetto, it’s all they have, the mean/swaggy Coach you describe is their only Role Model, they don’t have cushy lives like our kids and it’s their ticket for a better life. “

I can see that. Those are very valid points. However, does that excuse their behavior? Does that excuse the rudeness, the disrespect? Does that give them the right to talk smack “You ain't this You ain't that” to our kids. Sorry Buddy, at 14 you should know “ ain't” isn't a word! Where are their parents? Oh on the bleachers yelling “that ain't a foul” 

That’s my ultimate question. Where are their parents and if they are around they are not parenting. They are buying these kids $300.00 basketball sneakers in the hopes of them making it big. You mean making it big to play college ball like Fab Melo, who got a FULL scholarship to SU, to play ball! YAY, but oh yeah he flunked and then couldn't play anymore. You mean make it big to the NBA for million dollar contracts, contracts that they can’t read nor are they capable of putting a sentence together for an interview after the best game of their life. Is that making it? 

I don’t care if your inner city. I don’t care if you are in the lower economic pool. Being a parent is being a parent. You do not need money to teach or show children LOVE and how to become a good person.  You LOVE them, you show them the way, and you tell them to dream and to be humble. You teach them compassion. You teach them to be strong. You make them get an education. You are the parent, remember you can make them do anything, you’re in charge! You make them the person that if they want a ticket out of the ghetto they are open minded and smart enough to know there are all sorts of ways to get that ticket.  Basketball is a way sure, it’s a dream so many kids follow and that is fine, but not all of the kids on that team will make it. What will those boys that don’t make it do? How will they get their ticket? I think if someone in their life was willing to show them the way they would not be 14 year old punk assholes.  

So for me, trying to make it is not going out to play a sport your passionate about and showing zero sportsmanship and being a wise ass.  It’s not overlooking the tournament rules. It’s playing the game with all you are, with all your talent and being respectful to your teammates, the referees and your opponent. Making it, is also being a good person, being someone that people look up to and can respect. I am not just speaking of making in basketball, I am talking in LIFE! 

Now, my kid is going to make it out there in the world not just because he’s super smart and athletic, but because he knows how to make it. He works just as hard as those kids. He balances straight A’s and 2-3 sports teams at a time. He is always doing homework, going to practice or playing in a game.  I would never feel he is any less worthy of "making it" because I am a good parent, showed him the way, loved him right and give him a cushy life. Never! 

As for those boys I  encountered last weekend. I hope and wish with all my heart they all could make it. I wish I could give them the ticket they need because I would.  But, in my eyes, they will MAKE it when they turn out to be the type of person I wish they had to look up to right now, because that type of “making it” is a ticket out too!

Good 'Ole Welfare

What I choose to write about today can be a hot topic. It is also a topic that I see on a daily basis and I have experience on both sides with.  It’s a topic that can be touchy but hell I am going to touch on it anyway.

WELFARE, good ole Welfare.

I think way back when the Welfare system probably had perfect intentions.  I feel it was designed to help the poor , near poor purchase food and pay their rent. Sadly, it has turned into something totally different and is totally abused, not only is it abused but now there are multiple generations of welfare abusers that are still living off the government payroll and my hard earned tax dollars. 

In my opinion, it’s for people who are working but just can’t make ends meet. It’s for families that want to work but need assistance with childcare; because as we all know the cost of that a month is equal to a 2^nd mortgage. It’s for families that are forced to choose between heating their homes and feeding their children.  It’s for the single working parent that still can’t afford rent, childcare formula and food. 

It’s NOT for the unemployed, but able to work, designer clothed, nails done, fancy hair, Jordan sneaker wearing, iPhone talking, Escalade driving son of a bitch families that I commonly see. Those are who I consider are abusing the system. Those who abuse welfare are lazy people who should get off their ASS and work, instead of waiting for their free money every month. 

I say free money but it comes at a cost. Our cost. I would also like to believe in people and human nature. I would also like to think it comes at a cost to them as well, their conscious, and their pride.

How can they live with themselves? Don’t they feel guilty? Don’t they feel ashamed? Don’t they want to be a better person? What kind of example does this set for their children, which is the obvious reason why generations after generations live off the system, because it’s all they know. They never have that feeling of owning or earning something. They grow up and are surrounded by people that feel they deserve and are entitled to it all, that everything is a free hand out. Why would you want your child to live like that when you are capable of working and showing them what it’s like to earn something. What happened to when you want or need something you go out and earn it? 

I again have NO problem with the people/families that work hard and still need help, I’m happy to help.  I also have no problem with families that need temporary help because they can’t find a job and have hit rock bottom. I am happy to help. I myself needed to apply for WIC when my first son was born 14 years ago. I was only 23 years old, worked part-time, but had to go out on bed rest 2 months early. My Husband worked full-time crazy 12 +hour days and money was tight. When he was born we needed help getting formula. My parents bought us formula until I was accepted onto WIC. However, I remember going to the store and I was so embarrassed to have to pay for the formula with "those WIC checks". I didn’t want to have to do that, but it was what I needed to do at the time. I had WIC for about 6 months and then things were back in order and we could buy it ourselves. I sent my next batch of checks back to the WIC department with a note, letting them know how grateful I was and to use those checks on someone else, that we were OK now. I will never forget this mostly because the woman at WIC sent me a card after receiving the checks back wishing me the best with my baby and said she wished there were more people like me out there. I now know what she meant by “people like me”, she meant good honest people who need help but don’t abuse it or take it for granted. 

With that said, I strictly have a problem with the people that abuse this system and make it their career and way of life. Not acceptable. It’s a pure disgrace. 

Welfare and assistance in your daily life should be appreciated not expected. It is actually a charity, and a charity is done out of kindness.  When did human nature decide to take advantage of such kindness?