Advice for My Boys Momma JMarts Style

I know my boys both know how much I love them.  I try and do all I can to raise them to become outstanding men. This is Momma's advice and what I think they need to know as they grow and as a man! 

I mean c'mon, look at Momma JMarts....I know what I'm talking about... Who wouldn't take advice from this lady

1.  Be Nice. This world is full of rude assholes. Always be nice, it makes you the better person. I have zero tolerance for mean people. 
2. GO to COLLEGE! Education is something NO ONE can take away from you. You can run with it. If you want to play sports that's fine, but have a back up and that back up needs to be your brain!!!!!
3. Have a sense of humor and don't take EVERYTHING so serious. Life is full of surprises good and bad! You can not win them all, so do not let anger, sadness or negativity ruin you!!
4. Save MONEY when you are young, single and childless!!!!!!! I have no idea what the economy might be when this applies, but shit isn't cheap and it's getting worse.
5. ALWAYS be YOU! Never pretend to be someone your NOT! It's exhausting. You find strength and confidence in just being YOU! Never care what people think of you, you do not need their approval, just love yourself. As long as you are a good person, everything else will fall into place. You had me as a mother, so I have confidence that you must be close to perfect! ;)
6. It's Ok to forgive but ALWAYS be smart enough to never forget. I do not believe in Forgive and Forget, because that's not human nature.
7. Take Pride in your appearance. No woman likes a nasty guy. Cut you nails, shave or trim, cut your hair, keep your teeth in tip top shape, shower daily, shower after sports or the gym, use mouthwash and sometimes even get a pedicure, no shame in that!
8. Your Private Parts are Private. Do not flaunt that shit, Do not sleep around, PLEASE do not be a MAN WHORE! 
9. Do not make me bury you! Be Safe, Be Wise, Be Responsible. Make good decisions. 
10. Be strong and tough, Woman hate WIMPS! NOT SEXY! But at the same time be sensitive enough that when I die you throw up from crying. Thanks!
11. You're going to fail at something. You are going to get dumped. You need to handle that with class and not be a sissy douchebag. 
12. Do NOT do drugs or drink and drive. You will end up in jail. I am sure your cellmate will be a complete idiot loser who smokes, shits and masturbates all day. That's not the life I want for you. Be smart!
13. ALWAYS love your BROTHER! Mommy and Daddy won't be here forever and you will NEED each other.
14. Most important, please choose your wife wisely. But I will be HONEST here, I will LOVE her because you love her, and I LOVE YOU that much! I will NEVER judge or tell you she is NOT good enough. If you love her I love her, but she needs to give the same amount of love back. I will never be mean to her. Do you hear what I am saying, I am pretty much saying you could bring home the town whore and I will find a way to love her because I NEVER want to lose you. I think I will raise you both in a way that you can love your wife with all your heart and have children yet still WANT to come see Momma and have me as a large part of your life. I will NEVER MAKE YOU CHOOSE!!!!! I will never make her feel uncomfortable and you both know I am easy going and fun so I think it will be easy. But, I would not be lying if I said I would be ok if you came home and said she was an orphan! eeeek 
15. Lastly, bring your crazy Momma a bottle of wine every now and then and take the time to drink it with me. Oh and by that I mean the big bottle not the little one, the little one goes quick and I need more time with you because I already know that I will miss you!

My Boys........Trevor and Tanner (14 and 3 1/2)

In the House of Papa

 I spent this past weekend an hour away from home at a very special place. It’s a little house on a country road in a little town. It’s the house my Grandmother was born in. It’s a place where I spent most every summer of my early childhood. It’s a modest little place that my Grandfather re-built and remodeled with his own two hands. It’s the place where my Grandmother still lives.  It’s a place that brings back treasured memories of the greatest man I have ever known.

My Grandfather was an amazing person, and one of the greatest things I ever did was make sure he knew how I much I loved him and all the reasons why. He was dying of cancer and I was not letting him leave this earth without him knowing how much he meant to me and how much he impacted my life.

He was the man in my life since the day  I was born. He was my silly playmate. He helped my mother take care of me financially. He was a constant in my life. I always remember him being there.

He is a man’s man. He served in the Army, fought in the Korean War. He loved the outdoors, nature and wildlife. He always bought American. He loved bow hunting and fishing. He was tall, fit, smart, always tan and an attractive guy. He was always clean cut and liked to wear black. His passion was Archery. He only drank coffee or water. He loved sweets and had dessert every day. He NEVER yelled. He was humble. He was kind and generous. He was a hard-worker. He drove an 18 wheeler. He was tough. He loved looking at beautiful woman and thought all infants were homely. He read the dictionary or encyclopedia before bed. He liked old books. He liked to play the guitar and sing country music. He was always trying to help someone less fortunate. He was funny. He was a great teacher.

As, my Grandfather, he was even better. He was the man that no one could live up to. He was the man that I compared every guy too. He was all that was good in the world, wrapped up in one simple man who I called Papa! He was the man down playing Barbie’s on the floor with me on Christmas Day. He was the man who sang to me all the time and played the guitar while I danced around in my nightgown and slippers. He was the man bringing me donuts and letting me buy “sugar” gum. He was the man learning the lyrics to Vanilla Ice and running around our living room with my pink boom box on his shoulder, yelling kick it one time bbboooyyyyeeeeee. He was the man who asked me to smell his new cologne when it was actually “Deer Urine” he was using to hunt with. He took me fishing; we would pack a lunch and sit on the bank all day. He taught me how to gut and scale fish, but also what everything was inside as we gutted it. He gave me huge heart boxes of chocolate every Valentine’s Day even though he knew I would squish each one and only eat the ones I liked. He was the first man to ever give me a bouquet of flowers and it was when I turned 13 years old. He gave me books all the time and wrote a message in almost every single one. I saw my very first movie with him, Pinocchio. He taught me how to shoot Archery. He believed in me and thought I was good enough to enter me in NYS Championships, but wasn't mad when I froze and cried because I had to shoot on the line with the "youth" and not beside him. He was the person I always had to sit next to at dinner. He would make me fake cough so I could have some of his medicine…that Medicine was M&M’s. He was the man my Mom heard me sobbing over in my room one night because he was on the road working and I missed him. That same man came home that night and came straight to our house in the middle of the night to see me. He taught me to love animals all animals and how to treat them. He taught me to fight for what I truly believe but also about compromise. He would take fresh water out of the well with a pail and give me a drink on a hot summer day although on the other hand he did convince me to drink pickle juice from the jar once. He came to my baby shower so he could record it and of course brought his own gift. He told me over and over when my first son was born that “there is something special about this boy, he feels like the next JFK”. I got engaged and he reminded me all the time that I was not just marrying my Husband but his entire family. He constantly reminded me never to give up or hate my sister because some day he and my parents will be gone and she will be all I have. He was the man in the back of the church before the doors opened that said “Babe, Are you sure? I will walk you out of here right now” He walked me down that aisle to my Dad who walked me the rest of the way. He was the man that I named my first son after. He was and always will my Grandfather.

When I think back to simpler times, I wonder who will make this kind of impact on my boys. It’s a different time, I know. You can buy a kid anything or take them on fancy trips sure. But, there will never be a day where they sit on the grass with someone special, a fishing pole and their lunch and actually talk all day!!!  

I may not have grown up in a big ole city, had the fanciest of everything or traveled the world but it’s worth it because if I did I would have missed out on all this….and this these treasured memories is what made me the woman I am today!!!!!!!!!

Love and Thanks Forever Papa!!!

Al Manning 6/1/34 ~ 4/23/2003

Momma of Two Boys

Reasons Why I Love Being a Mom of Boys. 

Boys love their mom, always.
Boys play hard and sleep hard.
I am the prettiest person in our house.
I smell better than everyone else in the house.
I have the most extensive wardrobe than anyone else in the house.
I get the most closet space.
My closet overflow can go into the boys' closets.
No one will borrow my clothes.
No one will borrow my shoes.
No one will borrow my jewelry.
No one will use my Bath and Body Works shower gel.
My hairdryer and hairbrush are always right where I left them.
They hold my hand in the store.

They think I am beautiful.
I am expected to take the longest to get ready, and it is fine with them.
Sports Night for the boys, & Wine Night for the girls.
If we find an earring, everyone knows who lost it.
I can easily pick out my socks from a basket of whites.
I can easily pick out my underwear from a basket of delicates.
I never have to take out the garbage.
I never have to mow the lawn.
I don't have to learn to use barbecue grill.
Back to school shopping takes 30 minutes.
Boys are easy to shop for: SNEAKERS

Boys are easy to feed: they eat everything in sight!
Boy haircuts are cheaper than girls.
Boys need a comb and water to fix their hair.
No barrettes.
No ponytail holders.
No hair ribbons.
No collection of different shaped hairbrushes.
No curling irons.
No flat irons.
No braiding.
No bad hair days.
A boy bathroom: shampoo and conditioner all in one and hopefully a bar of soap.
I get the most shelf space in the shower.
No Barbies.
No Barbie shoes.
No Barbie house.
No Barbie = no crazy body image issues with daughters.
I have no idea what "An American Girl" doll is or why anyone needs one.

I know the most direct route to the Emergency Room.
I know how to check if a nose is broken.
I can read x-rays.
I can wrap a sprain.
I know the preschool director very well.
I look better in pink than anyone else in the house.
There is always a sporting event to go watch.
I can escape to the spa by myself.
I get to go shopping by myself.
Someday I will get to buy 2 mother of the groom dresses.
Someday I will get to dance with each of my sons at their weddings.
We are blessed to have the challenge of raising good men.
We teach them to respect women.
We teach them that women are strong in mind and body.
We teach them that women are more than objects to admire.
We teach them that women are equal partners.
We teach them to never, ever hurt a woman.
I get to have "daughters" later, when shopping with them will be more fun.
Boys open doors for me.
Boys snuggle and cuddle, no matter how old they are.
When trying to find their swimsuit you only have to find one piece.
It takes 30 seconds for them to get dressed.
It takes 3 minutes for them to eat breakfast.
They can be up and out the door in under 5 minutes.
If someone screams you know the situation is serious.
I have an excuse for the bathroom being dirty.
When traveling by car and their bladders reach capacity just pull over and let them go.
When out as a family, Daddy takes everyone to the bathroom.
No worries about having an accident because the bathroom line is too long.
Boys don't gossip.
No girl drama.
Brothers stick together

I am QUEEN!

Another crazy morning In The House of JMarts

Another crazy morning In the House of JMarts…..for your pleasure!

It all started, with me opening my eyes and realizing that it was 6:40, wondering why the alarm didn’t go off or did it? Nope, it was set but I had changed it to 7am over the weekend and never set it back to my usual  6am. Ugh, I lay there for split second wondering why my room smells like onions and run to the teenager’s room to make sure he’s up. He was which I was happy about and then I thought hmmmmm if I was only as responsible about “getting up” as my 14 year old. Yep, Loser. Take the walk of shame back to my room to find pants, it still smells like onions, then there it is, the bowl  and my memory of the macaroni salad that I ate in bed last night, while my Husband yelled at me to stop saying Gonzaga as he watched the Selection Sunday recap!! So yep, now I am an annoying, disgusting Loser!  Feeling Awesome on this Monday, the day after St. Patrick’s Day, lets head down stairs, get some water and pills. 

Toddler is now up too, whiny. I made the kids their breakfast and lunches. Teenager out the door. The toddler and I go upstairs to start getting ready.  I go into the bathroom, (sitting on the toilet mind you) I know TMI and I hear this banging on the door and then the doorbell ringing fast and over and over and over. I freaked, from the minute I stood up and made it to the door 100 things went through my mind, OMG he got hit by a car, OMG someone is trying to kidnap him, OMG he’s hurt, OMG OMG OMG. I open the door, but ummmm not before looking out the window to make sure it was him because even in a major emergency apparently SAFETY first. (Idiot) He ripped my ass off the toilet and almost gave me a heart attack because he forgot his PHONE. Meanwhile, I see the bus, I see a girl grabbing his bat bag (he left it at the corner) and taking it on the bus then I turn around see him jump down almost all of our stairs and run out the door….sprinting to the bus which was leaving but stopped and let him on.  

Back to Toddler and I getting ready. We do, of course running late. Every morning right before we leave, I make my coffee and he ALWAYS asks who has Show N Tell that day and who is bringing snack. So I tell him who’s on the Show N Tell schedule and I go over to the snack calendar….Shit, it’s him!  I have no snack! Bring cereal bars. We have a ton of unopened cereal bars, every single brand I have says “may contain tree nuts” Fuck you tree nuts!!!   (it’s a nut free center)

He has a meltdown, repeating his exact words were “All I wanted to do today in my life is bring snack”   ME: We have to go, we will have to bring snack tomorrow. It will be ok.  

Tears are drying, coats are on, keys in hand. I hear a “meow”, What the hell? Where the fuck is this cat now? I don’t have time for this shit.  I search the house, can’t find her. Check the garage, nowhere.  No longer meowing either. All I can do at this point is to open all the doors inside the house to make sure she isn’t trapped some place for the day. Now we’re going. Finally.

On the road, make it to daycare.  I explain the whole snack thing and the meltdown. Then I remember that I forgot our family square that was due today for the quilt that the center is making this week. Not only did I forget to bring it in, I forgot to do it!  I am thinking to myself….I am totally screwing with this poor kid. If he was that upset about the freakin snack, Good Lord how is he going to react when his name is not on the quilt.  I’m a LOSER! 

I finally get to work; being late didn’t really matter because I had to go to the Post Office on my way in anyway. I get settled and go weigh myself. Um!  Flashbacks of the bowl on my nightstand. Yeah your disgusting and why the hell is your stomach growling. Doesn’t seem like an appropriate time, shut the hell up.  I made a cup of coffee. I am a scatter brain. I am thirsty. I am freezing. I am tired. I do not want to do this tedious work right now, I just want to go home and make Tanner’s square for the quilt. 

It’s Monday, I am a maniac! It’s the day after St. Patrick’s Day. I feel like I consumed too much green food coloring or something and by something I probably mean alcohol and fatty food! I can’t concentrate.  I want it to be Tuesday or any day that’s not the day after St. Patrick’s Day! 

Raising "Smart" Kids

I came across this article today about raising smart kids. It went on to list all of the things you can do to ensure you are raising a smart child. It compared the rich to the poor, the boys to the girls amongst many other things. It also said if your child plays the piano by age 3, you have 500 books in your home and if they were breastfed you will have a smart child. I did not agree with most of the article. Some facts I know are scientifically proven however most of the article seemed like old fashion nonsense.  I think all children are different and that they come with a pre- set intelligence level. It’s up to you as a parent to nurture your child’s individual intelligence level. It’s up to you to make sure they reach their maximum potential and their maximum potential may not be what you envisioned.

My oldest son is 14 years old. He is smart, hell probably smarter than most adults I come across on a daily basis, no seriously.  

I had him when I was 23 years old. I did not breastfeed him. We did not have 500 books. He did not play the piano by age 3. My Husband and I lived together but not married yet.  He worked awful hours for the first 5 years of this child’s life and I was his primary parent.  I stayed home with him for 2 years. He also didn’t say ONE word until he was almost 3 years old. He was tested, head CT, hearing and screened for cognitive problems. ALL negative, then one day this boy opened his mouth and a full sentence came out! This is an absolute TRUE Story! It went on from there. He was reading road signs and was reading books to us by 4 years old.  He received the “BEST READER” award when he graduated preschool.  He was getting ready for Kindergarten, he went through the screening process in about 10 minutes and again I am serious.  He started Kindergarten and at our first parent teacher conference, she told us how smart he was. I mean I thought he was smart, but all parents think their kids are smart right? So what was so different about mine? She also said and I will never forget this, “Don’t take this the wrong way, but was he just like this” I said “ What, as in did I sit with him for the past 4 years and teach him to read, NO, I didn’t, so I guess he just came like this.” 

I did all the normal things with him. We read books, we colored, we played board games and we listened to music. I introduced him to things and made sure socially he was ready for school. That’s what I did. 

A few months into Kindergarten we got the call asking if they could put him in the computer lab with 1^st and 2^nd graders for an hour every other day, Oh and to send a book with him to school because he gets talkative when he’s finished his work and needs something to do.

We switched school districts when he entered 2^nd grade. He adjusted quickly and well. He was put in 2 scholar programs and received the Presidential Award upon completion of elementary school. He is now in his last year of Middle School. He has been on the High Honor Roll the entire time and taking several Honors courses above his grade level. He has received Math Awards and been inducted into the National Jr Honor Society. He has never brought home anything less than an A, EVER.

He works hard and it shows. He is a responsible and reliable student. He maintains all of this while playing on 2, well this year 3 different basketball teams and playing baseball.

As a Mom I have seen him struggle in other ways.  He hated swimming lessons and was/is a bad swimmer. He went to summer camp as a young child and always had to wear the wrist band color that prohibited him from going in the deep end. He took FOREVER to learn to tie his shoes. Hell, he didn’t ride a bike until he was 10 years old!!!  

He has asked me more than once if he had to be in the “Honors” classes. He struggled with that especially this past year. He is 14 and “those” classes are for Dorks.  I explained to him that he can remain “cool” and be smart. Sometimes that is hard to explain to a 14 year old that is trying to figure out who they are and where they belong.  I will always try to see his point of view and never brush his feelings away but as his parent I will be damned if I let him drop Honors courses. 

I know it’s easier to watch your child excel easily instead of struggle but I am not ANY less proud of him because it comes easier to him. Why should I be?

So am I raising a “Smart” child? Yes.  However, I did not shove Baby Einstein videos and music in his face, hell I let this kid watch Teletubbies, yes I am admitting that, how embarrassing. I would like to think, take credit for and believe I played a larger role in his academic success but all I have done is teach him to be responsible and accountable.  I have always told him and always will tell him how proud he makes me and how much I love him. I tell him all the time to dream big and believe in himself.  I truly believe he can do and be anything. He is my shining star.

So I believe brains already have somewhat of a plan set in place. Not everyone has a “Smart” child. They all have their own limits. They are all “Smart” in their own way.  As a parent all you can do is believe in them and love them.

It doesn't take a genius to help a child reach their intellectual potential – just a loving, involved parent.

Blogger Questionnaire/Who Are You?

Well, I am just your average working mother...who never has enough time to accomplish all the ideas I have set in my head.

Who am I?

1.  Where were you born? 

      I was born in Glens Falls, NY. 

2.  Were you named after someone?

      My name is Jennifer Elaine. Elaine is my mothers name. 

3.  How many children do you have?

     I have 2 children, both boys. I have a 14 year old and a 3 1/2 year old. They are complete opposites not just because of the 10 year age difference but personalities. My 14 year old son is extremely smart. He is in all Honors classes and has never and I mean EVER brought home a grade less than an A. Well, I take that back, he has in ART! He is also very respectful, responsible, tall (6'3) and athletic. He is a sports fanatic. He plays basketball which is his passion but also loves baseball and plays that as well. The 3 year old is crazy. He is also very smart. He is hysterical and adorable. He has a love for music, especially country and Jason Aldean, he has to be his # 1 fan. He also loves sports, his favorite are soccer, baseball and basketball. He is obsessed with donuts, fruit snacks and smoothies.

4.  How many pets?

      We have 2 cats. One is old and a fat ass, but she is cuddly and lazy. The other one is a year old and complete pain in our ass. She is cute but I swear she is a DOG trapped in a cats body. She's fucking annoying as shit, but I can't stomach giving her to a shelter. We lost our beloved dog of 14 years....2 years ago and I still miss him. 

5.  What was the worst injury you ever sustained?

      I have actually never been injured, but my luck because I said that this injury will occur sometime tomorrow. So, I will say... if by injury you mean my stomach and girly parts being ripped open to lift two babies out once in 1999 and then again in 2009. 

6.  Do you have any special talents?

     I think being a natural mother is a talent. I was only 23 when I had my 1st son, but it all just came to me. I didn't need people to come over so I could sleep and I wasn't scared ever to be alone with him. I just knew what to do. 

My other special talent would be chugging wine and making people laugh. I have always made people laugh but being able to put myself out there, outside my circle has been very fun.

7.  Favorite thing to bake?

     I do not love to cook or bake. Honestly, its mostly because I do not have the time. I get home from work about 6 and who the fuck wants to bake or even cook dinner for that matter. I guess my answer would be baking things for my kids for holidays, birthdays or preschool parties..because even if I don't have the time, I still do it because I want to for them! (make any sense?)

8.  Favorite Food?

     I love Mexican food, it's my all time favorite, but I love wine too and those things do not go together...if you know what I mean.  I am kinda a fatty and you would think I would have a whole list, but I don't, food and I have never really been friends...but that's another blog. 

9.  Would you Bungee Jump?

      Hell No.  I have a few reasons but the number one reason is I am so afraid that shit will snap w my fat ass bungeeeeeee. 

10.  What is the first thing you notice about people?

      Attitude, I hate rude people, especially ones that come across like they are Gods Gift...Bitch Please! 

11.  When was the last time you cried?

        I actually had a lump in my throat in the car this morning with a few tears. I heard a song and I just thought so much about my Dad. (He passed 11/2011) 

12.  Any current worries?

       I worry all the time. I am a freak. I mostly worry about my Mom because of #11 (above)

13.  Name 3 drinks you drink regularly

        Coffee- I love French Vanilla coffee and Iced Coffee

         Water- I love water, I drink a lot of water...and that's a true story!!!                                 

          Wine- LOVE my Pinot Grigio.  

14.  What's your favorite book?

        Am I queer right now if I say a children's book because I do not have the time read. I don't even have time to read my ridiculous celeb magazines anymore. By the time this house would be calm enough for me to read, I am tired and reading makes my eyes soooo tired. I do love to read with my toddler, he has a lot of cool books that we enjoy together.

15.  Would you like to be a Pirate?

        Well, actually I would my 3 year old loves pirates. I could be a pirate for a day.....give me some rum, treasure, a flag and I will be Kenny Chesney's Island Girl! 

16.  Favorite smells?

       I love the smell of coffee and muffins in the morning. I love the smell of perfume...I am a perfume addict. I also love when my Hubby wears cologne...but for some reason that is only when we "go out" so the nice shit I bought him years ago is still full. 

17.  Why do you blog?

       I started this blog to heal my soul. 2012 was the worst of the worst and I needed an outlet. I needed to get back to me and share all this nonsense to feel better. I needed to get my feelings out, say what's on my mind. 

18.  What song do you want played at your funeral?

         Oh, lord that's hard. I am a music LOVER. I love Miranda Lambert and all her lyrics.  I'd have to say Only Prettier or Fastest Girl in Town. She is a rockin bitch! 

19.  What is the favorite thing about yourself?  

        My ability to love and accept people. Physically, this rack....a nice push up bra, some glitter and those things can really shine! ;) 

        I also like my eyes. They are shit brown, but with my make up just right I love them.

20.  Favorite Hobby? 

        Do I have a Hobby, now my page/blog 

         In The House of JMARTS

21.  Name something you have done that you never thought you would do?  This is a stumper. I thought I would have a husband and kids and well ...I am not really a rebel. I guess there have been plenty of times throughout my adult life that I thought I would never forgive,speak or see my sister again, but I have and do. ;)

22.  Name something you look for in a friend?

       A sense of humor, honesty, someone who makes me feel good about myself instead of making me feel stupid, less than or the feeling that you are in competition. Someone that if they say something behind your back it wasn't something they hadn't already said to my face. Lastly, someone who doesn't judge you even when you are stupid or make a bad choice. 

23.  Favorite Fun things to do?

      I love doing things with my kids. I love seeing them happy and having fun. I love hanging out with the girls. They make me laugh and keep me sane. I love camping up at the lake and boating. I like having fires and cocktails a night in my own back yard. 

24.  Pet Peeves? 

       Oh boy this is a whole blog...but a few are people sniffing, blow your fucking nose, talking with your mouth full of food, swallow that shit then tell me and not washing your hands after you go to the bathroom or change a babies diaper.

25.  What's the last thing that made you laugh?

         Re-reading our almost daily group text, with my 2 girlfriends. We are hysterical and nuts! Love them.