Another crazy morning In The House of JMarts

Another crazy morning In the House of JMarts…..for your pleasure!

It all started, with me opening my eyes and realizing that it was 6:40, wondering why the alarm didn’t go off or did it? Nope, it was set but I had changed it to 7am over the weekend and never set it back to my usual  6am. Ugh, I lay there for split second wondering why my room smells like onions and run to the teenager’s room to make sure he’s up. He was which I was happy about and then I thought hmmmmm if I was only as responsible about “getting up” as my 14 year old. Yep, Loser. Take the walk of shame back to my room to find pants, it still smells like onions, then there it is, the bowl  and my memory of the macaroni salad that I ate in bed last night, while my Husband yelled at me to stop saying Gonzaga as he watched the Selection Sunday recap!! So yep, now I am an annoying, disgusting Loser!  Feeling Awesome on this Monday, the day after St. Patrick’s Day, lets head down stairs, get some water and pills. 

Toddler is now up too, whiny. I made the kids their breakfast and lunches. Teenager out the door. The toddler and I go upstairs to start getting ready.  I go into the bathroom, (sitting on the toilet mind you) I know TMI and I hear this banging on the door and then the doorbell ringing fast and over and over and over. I freaked, from the minute I stood up and made it to the door 100 things went through my mind, OMG he got hit by a car, OMG someone is trying to kidnap him, OMG he’s hurt, OMG OMG OMG. I open the door, but ummmm not before looking out the window to make sure it was him because even in a major emergency apparently SAFETY first. (Idiot) He ripped my ass off the toilet and almost gave me a heart attack because he forgot his PHONE. Meanwhile, I see the bus, I see a girl grabbing his bat bag (he left it at the corner) and taking it on the bus then I turn around see him jump down almost all of our stairs and run out the door….sprinting to the bus which was leaving but stopped and let him on.  

Back to Toddler and I getting ready. We do, of course running late. Every morning right before we leave, I make my coffee and he ALWAYS asks who has Show N Tell that day and who is bringing snack. So I tell him who’s on the Show N Tell schedule and I go over to the snack calendar….Shit, it’s him!  I have no snack! Bring cereal bars. We have a ton of unopened cereal bars, every single brand I have says “may contain tree nuts” Fuck you tree nuts!!!   (it’s a nut free center)

He has a meltdown, repeating his exact words were “All I wanted to do today in my life is bring snack”   ME: We have to go, we will have to bring snack tomorrow. It will be ok.  

Tears are drying, coats are on, keys in hand. I hear a “meow”, What the hell? Where the fuck is this cat now? I don’t have time for this shit.  I search the house, can’t find her. Check the garage, nowhere.  No longer meowing either. All I can do at this point is to open all the doors inside the house to make sure she isn’t trapped some place for the day. Now we’re going. Finally.

On the road, make it to daycare.  I explain the whole snack thing and the meltdown. Then I remember that I forgot our family square that was due today for the quilt that the center is making this week. Not only did I forget to bring it in, I forgot to do it!  I am thinking to myself….I am totally screwing with this poor kid. If he was that upset about the freakin snack, Good Lord how is he going to react when his name is not on the quilt.  I’m a LOSER! 

I finally get to work; being late didn’t really matter because I had to go to the Post Office on my way in anyway. I get settled and go weigh myself. Um!  Flashbacks of the bowl on my nightstand. Yeah your disgusting and why the hell is your stomach growling. Doesn’t seem like an appropriate time, shut the hell up.  I made a cup of coffee. I am a scatter brain. I am thirsty. I am freezing. I am tired. I do not want to do this tedious work right now, I just want to go home and make Tanner’s square for the quilt. 

It’s Monday, I am a maniac! It’s the day after St. Patrick’s Day. I feel like I consumed too much green food coloring or something and by something I probably mean alcohol and fatty food! I can’t concentrate.  I want it to be Tuesday or any day that’s not the day after St. Patrick’s Day!